I’ll DECIDE!!

Goodness gracious! Lord this past week has been a doozie (weekends no longer count for me as much of my physical labor is performed over the weekend). I am a self defined multipotentialite for sure. It does make it hard to be a successful entrepreneur because in order to be successful, you do need some help. And we need help in this world. We all do. I do hope we get “back” to seeing helping others as a positive thing instead of this whole MEMEME hear me!!!

Due to the craziness in the past week, I realize I am delaying the launch of my business and I just need to get the hell out of my own way instead of the analysis and research paralysis, and “doing it all myself”. SO, one of my favorite quotes is “and so, it begins”, as if you are turning to the first page of a book. I am realizing my frozeness of writing is because i feel like i’m constantly changing directions and getting distracted. I find another thing to build, another person to help, another gift to give, another garden to grow another animaltoloveanotheranother anoth!!!

ENOUGH!! After last week crazy, I realize that some people’s crazy is obvious. Some is covert. Rumination, regret, guilt, martyrdom, absolute selfishness, lack of empathy are all parts of some kind of crazy, I feel. I own several of those. Also have a degree in psych, and a lifetime of human studies. I am rough around the edges and my writing shows it. I’m not fancy or eloquent, I just like to pretend that I am. Because, I”LL DECIDE!!

Thank you John, for the gift of the words I will probably tatoo over my ugly scars from making decisions too hastily, and no wonder I get bogged down from analysis and research because I am still having some regrets about how I came about the double mastectomies. I am GLAD to be on the other side, and moving on, but what goes on underneath the shirt, the skin, the bones, the muscles, the blood, cells, atoms, and mind, is the soul. It has taken quite a bit for me to realize these words enough to go all the way to the soul.

Sending love out to the world today.

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